Archive for October, 2011
Never Go to HR for help !! (humor) non offensive please !! | Fwd by Nagesh Bezawada
Oct 29th
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increment, no commendation.So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager.
His manager looked at him, smiled and asked him to sit down saying:
“My friend you have not worked here for even a single day.”
The man was surprised to hear this , but the manager went on to explain.
Manager : How many days are there in a year?
Man : 365 days and sometimes 366.
Manager : How many hours make up a day?
Man : 24 hours
Manager : How long do u work in a day?
Man : 10am to 6pm i.e 8 hours a day.
Manager : So,what fraction of the day do u work in hours?
Man : He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 i.e 1/3 (one third)
Manager : This is nice of u! What is 1/3rd of 366 days?
Man : 122 (1/3 x 366 =122 in days)
Manager : Do u come to work on weekends?
Man : No sir.
Manager : How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man : 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days.
Manager : Thanks for that.If u remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do u now have?
Man : 18 days.
Manager : I do give u 2 weeks sick leave every year. Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left.
How many days do u have remaining?
Man : 4 days
Manager : Do u work on Republic Day?
Man : No sir !
Manager : Do u come to work on Independence Day?
Man : No sir !
Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 2 days sir !
Manager : Do u come to work on New Years Day?
Man : No sir !
Manager : So how many days r left ?
Man : 1 day sir !
Manager : Do u work on Christmas Day?
Man : No sir !
Manager : So how many days are left ?
Man : None sir !
Manager : So what are u claiming ?
Man : !!!
Moral : NEVER GO TO HR FOR HELP !!!
HR- HIGH RISK
Where Is Rajinikanth In ‘Ra.One’?
Oct 29th
It can be said that ‘Ra.One’ has been a film in the recent times which was promoted to the fullest. Some felt that the film was literally choked into everyone’s throats as everywhere they go, it is either ‘Ra.One’ or Shah Rukh Khan. Anyways, all these efforts failed to give any output as the film fizzled out in theatres.
Meanwhile, one highlight USP for the film was the cameo by superstar Rajinikanth. Well, this was meant to be a one minute stint. However, those who saw the film are not really convinced if it was indeed the real Rajini. While some felt it was all the expertise of morphing and graphics, others felt it was just Rajini’s face and rest was someone else.
However, reliable sources have informed “It was indeed Rajini sir in the film. Because his presence was a blink and miss appearance, before anyone could really get into it, Rajini sir vanished. And he doesn’t have to travel all the way to Mumbai along with his technicians and spend one full day if all he had to do was drama.”
More news : http://www.greatandhra.com/viewnews.php?id=33112&cat=1&scat=4
Shankar Says Telangana Will Come Soon
Oct 29th
The maverick Congress leader Dr P Shankar Rao is at it again. The Handlooms and Textiles Minister, who openly criticized his own party government, never ceases to grab media spotlight, though most of the times for eccentric reasons.
Though his earlier predicts went for a six, Shankar Rao has again predicted that Telangana state will become a reality “very soon”. It must be pointed out that he had earlier said that the Centre’s decision granting statehood for the region would come before the end of October.
Now that October is coming to end, he has revised his prediction. “I am telling you that it will happen. The Centre has made up its mind and it will announce very soon,” the maverick Minister said.
This is not the first time that Shankar made such outlandish public comments. He had earlier declared that he was the superman who can get separate Telangana state delivered to the people. In his typical style, he had declared that he can single-handedly negotiate with the Centre and convince the leadership to carve out separate state.
Meanwhile, he chose to stay away from the cabinet meeting on Saturday.
More news : http://www.greatandhra.com/viewnews.php?id=33113&cat=15&scat=16
‘Warm’ Friendship Of 2 Heroines
Oct 29th
Generally actresses are known for throwing envy on each other. But Namitha and Sneha is the rare duo. Their friendship is going ‘thick’ and ‘warm’ day by day. They are shopping together these days wherever they are. They were at a Star Nite event in London recently where they found together shopping in malls.
Sneha also revealed recently in an interview that Namita is her thickest friend and she cannot keep away from her for longer time.
Indeed, same is being applied to Namitha as well. She seems to be the great solace for Sneha whenever the latter is in dull mood.
The friendship of these two actresses in indeed standing as an inspiration for many other actresses.
Read More artcles : http://www.greatandhra.com/viewnews.php?id=33114&cat=1&scat=4
Financial management!!
Oct 29th
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కొన్ని శాంపిల్ తిట్లు – Jandhyala Style–Keep Laughing :) :) :) :)
Oct 29th
USE AND HAVE FUN:
కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లా
atmలో pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి….
ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ…
# 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తి
Tintumon Revolution !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oct 29th
Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintumon: Dosa
Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Change”, Is your father a Beggar ??
A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
tintumon: “JAMBALAKDI BAMBA”
professor: “i dont understand anything”
tintumon: “same 2 you”
Tintumon: Im sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night
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Tintumon: so.. you came after I slept..?
Father to Tintumon: Why can’t you not think every woman as your mother?
Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?
To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..
Teacher : What is “Al2 O3″ ?
Ramu : Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3″?
Tintumon : “Filomina”
Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?
Tintumon: Dineshan
Teacher :Why?????
Tintumon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan
Just For Fun ……
Oct 29th
Why do we sometimes write ‘etc’ at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means…
E-End of
T-thinking
C-capacity.
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How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife’s Mind 4 u?
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Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying.. 
“I Luv u too”
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GAME OVER.!
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When do you knw ur in love?
Ans. When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan
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Wht is the Diff b/w
Young Age & Old Age?
*
Simple..
In Young Age
Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers..
In Old Age
Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-
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“Why is Facebook such a hit?
It works on the principle that-
‘People are more interested in others life than their own-!
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A Ques Asked In A Talent Test:
If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How wud You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer
- Why d Hell Should I recognise?
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V Pronounce 22 as TwentyTwo, 33 as Thirty Three,
44 as FortyFour,
55 as FiftyFive, Why not 11 as OnetyOne?
Doubt By last bench asociation…
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What is the diff.between”GHAZAL” &”LECTURE”?Every word spoken by the girlfriend is “GHAZAL”andEvery word spoken by wife is “LECTURE”
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Wats d diff btwn Pongal n idly?think.think..think…U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.
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What will be the girl’s name born on 1st of APRIL? Guess Guess Guess Guess “FOOLAN DEVI..
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Why does d bride & groom xchange garlands at d time of wedding….. B’coz they say each affectionately that : “DARLING NOW U R DEAD”………..
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What is the height of confusion? Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
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Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in d same college where u study ?
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100% Attendence… 
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QUES – Where can u see mangoes? On mango trees? NO.At fruit shop? WRONG AGAIN….Fir kaha?
ANS – Jaha jaha women go,piche piche Man(goes).
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Teacher: What Is The Differnce HIMAMI
&
SUNAMI ?
Tintu: HIMAMI is Face Wash,
SUNAMI is Total Wash.!
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Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But
Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“U r my Best Wife?”
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